I used to work for a corporation that did international development work. I convinced third worlders to sell resources. Did it for a couple years, was good at it, got paid well for it. Never told my dad what I did. He was a construction worker, didn't quite understand what I did, and was the sort of person I convinced to sell out, so I didn't want to explain it to him. I bounced out of that for a lot of reasons, wound up in workforce development, helping people get trained to do new jobs. Significantly less lucrative, as you can probably imagine. He understood that one; construction workers have a lot of contact with the workforce development system. Just before he died, he told me he couldn't be prouder of the work I do. I'm never going to be rich, or particularly powerful, or even terribly influential outside of the people I interact with every day. But I have that moment in that hospital room, and as long as I live, I always will.
Donald Trump has spent his entire life desperately trying to get to that feeling of knowing that your father takes pride in your achievements. He has poisoned every relationship he has ever had, ruined his children, and has never enjoyed a single second of peace from the lack of that affirmation. He may even go to prison because he was so desperate to fill that hole that he committed espionage so he could continue to soak up the praise of strangers in order to salve that gaping hole in his heart. Just because somebody doesn't understand that their shortcomings are the author of their suffering doesn't mean that it isn't the case. Or that their suffering won't gnaw at them all the days of their life.
I'm really happy that you have that hospital memory with your dad, acknowledging his pride in your choices. My dad berated me for deciding to use my law degree to help the poor. Of course, I never made any money, which he always viewed as a great failing, given my potential. But I'm OK with it. My dad came from a poor background himself in which he struggled all his life with his own sense of worth. I didn't take it personally. His view was completely influenced by his own fears and feelings of inadequacy. Money was everything to him.
That's awful, and I'm so sorry he didn't understand just how important your work is. I know it probably doesn't mean much of anything, but as your countryman and fellow human, I am proud of you. Your spirit is part of what makes this country great.
Thanks, Sherm. I appreciate the kind thoughts. I know, without needing the acknowledgment of anyone else, that I did the right thing with the unique skill I possessed and was aware that my choice was a privilege. Not many folks have the opportunity or financial wherewithal to make it to and through law school. It was a privilege to serve my clients and I worked hard to do the best job I could for them. This was MY blessing.
Your father raised you well. You should feel proud of yourself, too. You earned it! For what's it worth, I have infinitely more respect for people like you than rich investor types.
Bravo, Sherm, great post. And bravo for making the choice you did to get out of the lucrative but morally unethical job and into the less lucrative but morally worthy one.
You are absolutely right in your analysis of Donald Trump and the gigantic hole he must have in his soul. I doubt that he has ever in his entire life actually been happy.
I used to work for a corporation that did international development work. I convinced third worlders to sell resources. Did it for a couple years, was good at it, got paid well for it. Never told my dad what I did. He was a construction worker, didn't quite understand what I did, and was the sort of person I convinced to sell out, so I didn't want to explain it to him. I bounced out of that for a lot of reasons, wound up in workforce development, helping people get trained to do new jobs. Significantly less lucrative, as you can probably imagine. He understood that one; construction workers have a lot of contact with the workforce development system. Just before he died, he told me he couldn't be prouder of the work I do. I'm never going to be rich, or particularly powerful, or even terribly influential outside of the people I interact with every day. But I have that moment in that hospital room, and as long as I live, I always will.
Donald Trump has spent his entire life desperately trying to get to that feeling of knowing that your father takes pride in your achievements. He has poisoned every relationship he has ever had, ruined his children, and has never enjoyed a single second of peace from the lack of that affirmation. He may even go to prison because he was so desperate to fill that hole that he committed espionage so he could continue to soak up the praise of strangers in order to salve that gaping hole in his heart. Just because somebody doesn't understand that their shortcomings are the author of their suffering doesn't mean that it isn't the case. Or that their suffering won't gnaw at them all the days of their life.
I'm really happy that you have that hospital memory with your dad, acknowledging his pride in your choices. My dad berated me for deciding to use my law degree to help the poor. Of course, I never made any money, which he always viewed as a great failing, given my potential. But I'm OK with it. My dad came from a poor background himself in which he struggled all his life with his own sense of worth. I didn't take it personally. His view was completely influenced by his own fears and feelings of inadequacy. Money was everything to him.
That's awful, and I'm so sorry he didn't understand just how important your work is. I know it probably doesn't mean much of anything, but as your countryman and fellow human, I am proud of you. Your spirit is part of what makes this country great.
Thanks, Sherm. I appreciate the kind thoughts. I know, without needing the acknowledgment of anyone else, that I did the right thing with the unique skill I possessed and was aware that my choice was a privilege. Not many folks have the opportunity or financial wherewithal to make it to and through law school. It was a privilege to serve my clients and I worked hard to do the best job I could for them. This was MY blessing.
Your father raised you well. You should feel proud of yourself, too. You earned it! For what's it worth, I have infinitely more respect for people like you than rich investor types.
Bravo, Sherm, great post. And bravo for making the choice you did to get out of the lucrative but morally unethical job and into the less lucrative but morally worthy one.
You are absolutely right in your analysis of Donald Trump and the gigantic hole he must have in his soul. I doubt that he has ever in his entire life actually been happy.
👏