Two days ago I lost my mother after a long, grueling, debilitating battle with dementia. It was the end of her long struggle against forces that she could not control, and as the legal guardian and a personal caregiver it is a transition point to now finalizing matters of estate and trying to find time and opportunity to grieve, take care of my own personal and professional business as always, and deal with the realization that a life-changing moment has occurred.
And then I turn on the TV, and there's that voice again. There's that whining, about things that look and feel so small and selfish and mean-spirited. There's that unchecked anger and hostility, a cancer on both the mind and the soul of not only that primary practitioner but also those who give aid and comfort to him, in the belief that somehow his desire to divide and conquer will lead them to a better place in their own lives. (Spoiler alert: it won't.) And there's the awareness that the rest of the world is watching in real time, judging us all by his words and actions, while he is making us a laughingstock, or worse, in rambling on as if untethered from reality, utterly indifferent to any consequences of it all for anyone but himself.
I keep asking, but never find an answer. How did we get here? Why is a nation with so much to be thankful for, with so many good things in comparison to how much actual hardship others on this Earth are forced to endure, so insistent upon ripping itself apart at the seams over petty issues and complaints that, with some real effort and willingness to compromise and share, can be surmounted without undue difficulty?
I know I'm not breaking any new ground here. I just see it somewhat differently than a few days ago, after watching someone die in real time over the last few days, and weeks, and months, and years, while someone else whose life has been marked by privilege and priority and lack of accountability continues to make it a priority for others elsewhere to suffer in ways that he utterly cannot relate to or understand without ever having had to walk the miles in their shoes. Life is unfair in many ways. Some we can control. Others we cannot. We owe it to ourselves and each other to be our best selves, not our worst, in times of difficulty and suffering, and when we have the ability to be kind and compassionate and aware and understanding. There is so much good around us to celebrate and share and unite around. Pray that we can find political leadership, at all levels, that understands that we need healing in our land, not more division and anger and hostility. Pray that they have the life experience to understand what true suffering and loss is, and how devastating and enduring those things are. And how unimportant some things are compared to how they are made to be. The world looks different when you lose someone or something special. It's sad that it sometimes takes such loss to see more clearly, but worse still when the powerful and influential among us never seem to grasp the concept, to the detriment of us all.
I lost my dad to Parkinson’s last year. So the thoughts you expressed ring so true. That such a shallow, thoughtless person would be in a position of such importance is beyond the pale.
I cared for my mom towards the end of her life in our home. So sorry for your loss. It is great that this exercise has left you compassionate. It seems Trump feeds the very worst of human nature - anger, greed, cruelty - instead of encouraging love, kindness, and compassion. Reading Mary Trump's book informs my opinion of him as someone who was emotionally abused growing up. Unfortunately many victims of abuse become abusers. Sadly for the world, this abuser has climbed to the pinnacle of power.
America, for reasons we can't fathom- because they seem insane- elected a monster. Twice. We are represented in the world by a monster we chose to lead us. What does that say about us? It seems to say more about who we are than that shrimp of a human being. Sorry about your mom, Deutse. My dad had a similar path, and it was hell for us all.
Thank you for this lovely message. Peace and gratitude to your mama, who raised you to be the kind and intelligent person you are, and my sincere condolences (as well as peace and gratitude) to you.
Sorry to hear about your mom. I feel I know you well enough through your comments to appreciate you as a kind & decent human being. Know that you have a support group here.
As I was working through my own grief following the death of my mother, I found this quote, which I included in one of several pieces I wrote during that time:
"Transformation always involves the falling away of things we have relied on, and we are left with a feeling that the world as we know it is coming to an end, because it is."
I am so sorry and feel your pain. My brother, who I had been taking care of for the past five years, left us a month ago. The loss is still present and still very raw. We had prepared ourselves for a different ending; one that would be more drawn out. When it happened it was completely unexpected in its suddenness. The outpouring of love and support from friends and others was a huge support, and a reminder that there is more and better than all of this completely unnecessary nonsense happening beyond our control. I'm sure you are experiencing this as you navigate your loss while life, oblivious to your pain, goes on.
How did we get here? The comforts and advances of modern life have infantilized us. We expect change to happen yesterday, want to hear lies that support what we "believe," and need to blame someone, anyone, anything for any challenge, any loss, any unfairness we encounter, whether it's real or imagined. We've been taught by Hollywood films to believe in conspiracies, encouraged in our coarseness by reality television and "professional" wrestling, conditioned for instant gratification by technology, and encouraged by too many self help gurus and influencers that our natural state is constant happiness. And the rise of AI is only making it all worse.
All we have is each other, both like minded people in our lives and here in this virtual yet very real community. Hopefully its enough to get you (and the rest of us) through this time, and possibly get us back on track toward a better future. Grieve as long as you need. Please remember, you are not alone. We are all here with and for you.
I'm so sorry for your loss Mr. D. Watching a loved one fight a battle that can't be won makes everything else seem so unimportant. Their blithering whining grate on the ear and the heart. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
This so-called leader of the free world got up on stage and showed his whole ass to the world. Showed the world that yes, Gramps needs to be returned to the WH senior living facility and not be let out again.
From the content of his it's-not-a-speech it seems clear to all in that room and all that watched it on tv that the orange one is battling the same disease that took your Mom, relatives, and many more. I can't believe we have to live through this.
My condolences on the loss of your mother. Dementia is a long, cruel goodbye. You write eloquently and with wisdom on what should be right priorities of everyone.
Sometimes some perspective is in order.
Two days ago I lost my mother after a long, grueling, debilitating battle with dementia. It was the end of her long struggle against forces that she could not control, and as the legal guardian and a personal caregiver it is a transition point to now finalizing matters of estate and trying to find time and opportunity to grieve, take care of my own personal and professional business as always, and deal with the realization that a life-changing moment has occurred.
And then I turn on the TV, and there's that voice again. There's that whining, about things that look and feel so small and selfish and mean-spirited. There's that unchecked anger and hostility, a cancer on both the mind and the soul of not only that primary practitioner but also those who give aid and comfort to him, in the belief that somehow his desire to divide and conquer will lead them to a better place in their own lives. (Spoiler alert: it won't.) And there's the awareness that the rest of the world is watching in real time, judging us all by his words and actions, while he is making us a laughingstock, or worse, in rambling on as if untethered from reality, utterly indifferent to any consequences of it all for anyone but himself.
I keep asking, but never find an answer. How did we get here? Why is a nation with so much to be thankful for, with so many good things in comparison to how much actual hardship others on this Earth are forced to endure, so insistent upon ripping itself apart at the seams over petty issues and complaints that, with some real effort and willingness to compromise and share, can be surmounted without undue difficulty?
I know I'm not breaking any new ground here. I just see it somewhat differently than a few days ago, after watching someone die in real time over the last few days, and weeks, and months, and years, while someone else whose life has been marked by privilege and priority and lack of accountability continues to make it a priority for others elsewhere to suffer in ways that he utterly cannot relate to or understand without ever having had to walk the miles in their shoes. Life is unfair in many ways. Some we can control. Others we cannot. We owe it to ourselves and each other to be our best selves, not our worst, in times of difficulty and suffering, and when we have the ability to be kind and compassionate and aware and understanding. There is so much good around us to celebrate and share and unite around. Pray that we can find political leadership, at all levels, that understands that we need healing in our land, not more division and anger and hostility. Pray that they have the life experience to understand what true suffering and loss is, and how devastating and enduring those things are. And how unimportant some things are compared to how they are made to be. The world looks different when you lose someone or something special. It's sad that it sometimes takes such loss to see more clearly, but worse still when the powerful and influential among us never seem to grasp the concept, to the detriment of us all.
Condolences for your loss.
I lost my dad to Parkinson’s last year. So the thoughts you expressed ring so true. That such a shallow, thoughtless person would be in a position of such importance is beyond the pale.
I cared for my mom towards the end of her life in our home. So sorry for your loss. It is great that this exercise has left you compassionate. It seems Trump feeds the very worst of human nature - anger, greed, cruelty - instead of encouraging love, kindness, and compassion. Reading Mary Trump's book informs my opinion of him as someone who was emotionally abused growing up. Unfortunately many victims of abuse become abusers. Sadly for the world, this abuser has climbed to the pinnacle of power.
America, for reasons we can't fathom- because they seem insane- elected a monster. Twice. We are represented in the world by a monster we chose to lead us. What does that say about us? It seems to say more about who we are than that shrimp of a human being. Sorry about your mom, Deutse. My dad had a similar path, and it was hell for us all.
Thank you for this lovely message. Peace and gratitude to your mama, who raised you to be the kind and intelligent person you are, and my sincere condolences (as well as peace and gratitude) to you.
A beautiful truth. Thank you so much
RIP Mama Deutschmeister. You have a child who DOES make a difference in this world. My condolences to you, Deutschmeister.
Sorry to hear about your mom. I feel I know you well enough through your comments to appreciate you as a kind & decent human being. Know that you have a support group here.
I'm so sorry.
As I was working through my own grief following the death of my mother, I found this quote, which I included in one of several pieces I wrote during that time:
"Transformation always involves the falling away of things we have relied on, and we are left with a feeling that the world as we know it is coming to an end, because it is."
A warm hug to you.
I know we only know each other on a message board, but please accept my humblest condolences for your loss.
I am so sorry to hear of mother's passing. Mothers occupy a special place in our hearts.
May you find the peace you desire.
Thank you for reminding us what is important.
I am so sorry and feel your pain. My brother, who I had been taking care of for the past five years, left us a month ago. The loss is still present and still very raw. We had prepared ourselves for a different ending; one that would be more drawn out. When it happened it was completely unexpected in its suddenness. The outpouring of love and support from friends and others was a huge support, and a reminder that there is more and better than all of this completely unnecessary nonsense happening beyond our control. I'm sure you are experiencing this as you navigate your loss while life, oblivious to your pain, goes on.
How did we get here? The comforts and advances of modern life have infantilized us. We expect change to happen yesterday, want to hear lies that support what we "believe," and need to blame someone, anyone, anything for any challenge, any loss, any unfairness we encounter, whether it's real or imagined. We've been taught by Hollywood films to believe in conspiracies, encouraged in our coarseness by reality television and "professional" wrestling, conditioned for instant gratification by technology, and encouraged by too many self help gurus and influencers that our natural state is constant happiness. And the rise of AI is only making it all worse.
All we have is each other, both like minded people in our lives and here in this virtual yet very real community. Hopefully its enough to get you (and the rest of us) through this time, and possibly get us back on track toward a better future. Grieve as long as you need. Please remember, you are not alone. We are all here with and for you.
Such a hard loss. My heart goes out to you. May her memory be a blessing.
May her memory be a blessing to you, your family, and all her friends.
So sorry for your loss and may her memory be a blessing.
I'm so sorry for your loss Mr. D. Watching a loved one fight a battle that can't be won makes everything else seem so unimportant. Their blithering whining grate on the ear and the heart. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
This so-called leader of the free world got up on stage and showed his whole ass to the world. Showed the world that yes, Gramps needs to be returned to the WH senior living facility and not be let out again.
From the content of his it's-not-a-speech it seems clear to all in that room and all that watched it on tv that the orange one is battling the same disease that took your Mom, relatives, and many more. I can't believe we have to live through this.
My condolences on the loss of your mother. Dementia is a long, cruel goodbye. You write eloquently and with wisdom on what should be right priorities of everyone.