I was at a family party last summer, and my husband’s uncle said something something about the Chinese and the Jews, I think. And then he said, and I kid you not, “And then there is us regular people.” Really? NOBODY sitting there pushed back on that. I was so disgusted I got up and walked to the other side of the party. Then I remembered that I had driven my own car that day, so I thanked the host and left. I probably should have said something myself, but it was a graduation party for a high schooler…I told my husband about it later, though…as I explained that I don’t want to socialize with Uncle Charlie anymore. Thank God that man lives 2 hours away….
He probably got the "regular" thing from Archie Bunker. In the '70s sitcom "All In the Family" Archie would often refer to 2 co-workers as "Black Elmo" and "Regular Elmo." Any chance the guy was just kidding, maybe aided by a few drinks? Back in those days I'd tell many ethnic jokes, but made sure to mock my own ethnicity as well.
Nope. Not a chance he was joking. My husband’s mother once said she hated Michele Obama. I asked her what possible reason she could have for hating her, and my husband shushed me. 🙄 These people are bigots…and sadly, so were my parents.
I sympathize but might suggest you just sit back and let Uncle spout his inane opinions. Unless he is some sort of "influencer" he doesn't rise to the level of a push back. One of the reasons these (mostly men) behave as they do is because they know that their statements are triggering to any libs in their vicinity. Had you pushed back he you wouldn't have changed his opinion or curtailed his stupid behavior but I can tell you he would be thrilled seeing how much he triggered you... especially when you fled the scene. Walking away was the right choice.
In the end leaving the party only deprived you of socializing with people you like and who are not self-unaware asshats like Charlie.
Fortunately he is your husbands Uncle and not yours so any interaction with him is optional--- just funerals, weddings, graduations, etc.
I had an uncle who was just as big a bigot as could be but his wife, my aunt, would tell him to shut up and that saved us from a lot of discomfort and kept him from looking like a big dummy.
For me, it fell into the category of “I am just going to walk away, because I don’t want to be here…”.
And I’m sorry, but the man influences his family. And then, they go out and influence other people. So it’s not all harmless. I’m just ashamed of myself. I should’ve push back.
I was at a family party last summer, and my husband’s uncle said something something about the Chinese and the Jews, I think. And then he said, and I kid you not, “And then there is us regular people.” Really? NOBODY sitting there pushed back on that. I was so disgusted I got up and walked to the other side of the party. Then I remembered that I had driven my own car that day, so I thanked the host and left. I probably should have said something myself, but it was a graduation party for a high schooler…I told my husband about it later, though…as I explained that I don’t want to socialize with Uncle Charlie anymore. Thank God that man lives 2 hours away….
He probably got the "regular" thing from Archie Bunker. In the '70s sitcom "All In the Family" Archie would often refer to 2 co-workers as "Black Elmo" and "Regular Elmo." Any chance the guy was just kidding, maybe aided by a few drinks? Back in those days I'd tell many ethnic jokes, but made sure to mock my own ethnicity as well.
Nope. Not a chance he was joking. My husband’s mother once said she hated Michele Obama. I asked her what possible reason she could have for hating her, and my husband shushed me. 🙄 These people are bigots…and sadly, so were my parents.
I sympathize but might suggest you just sit back and let Uncle spout his inane opinions. Unless he is some sort of "influencer" he doesn't rise to the level of a push back. One of the reasons these (mostly men) behave as they do is because they know that their statements are triggering to any libs in their vicinity. Had you pushed back he you wouldn't have changed his opinion or curtailed his stupid behavior but I can tell you he would be thrilled seeing how much he triggered you... especially when you fled the scene. Walking away was the right choice.
In the end leaving the party only deprived you of socializing with people you like and who are not self-unaware asshats like Charlie.
Fortunately he is your husbands Uncle and not yours so any interaction with him is optional--- just funerals, weddings, graduations, etc.
I had an uncle who was just as big a bigot as could be but his wife, my aunt, would tell him to shut up and that saved us from a lot of discomfort and kept him from looking like a big dummy.
For me, it fell into the category of “I am just going to walk away, because I don’t want to be here…”.
And I’m sorry, but the man influences his family. And then, they go out and influence other people. So it’s not all harmless. I’m just ashamed of myself. I should’ve push back.