How Marjorie Taylor Greene Became Kevin McCarthy’s Best Friend
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Tim Miller: From QAnon crazy to Queen of the GOP, the rise of Marjorie Taylor Greene.
Ben Stone (Seth Rogen in Knocked Up): How the f*** did this happen?
Miller: This is “Not My Party,” brought to you by The Bulwark. This week, the New York Times reported on the unlikely political marriage of the ultimate establishment insider, Kevin McCarthy, and the most bombastic outsider the GOP has produced since He Who Shall Not Be Named, Marge Taylor Greene.
Rachel Goldberg (Shiri Appleby on UnREAL): That woman’s crazy.
Miller: This alliance paid dividends as MTG used her MAGA street cred to help Kevin get his coveted speakership. And now he’s poised to pay her back.
Stan Smith (from American Dad): I won. I won!
Peter Griffin (from Family Guy): But at what cost?
Miller: He told the New York Times, “If you’re going to be in a fight, you want Marjorie in your foxhole” and [was also quoted as telling a friend] “I will never leave that woman” and “I will always take care of her.”
Marge Simpson (from The Simpsons): How romantic.
Miller: This is a shockingly fast turnaround for Marge, given that just under a year ago, she was stripped of her committee assignments for speaking at a white nationalist conference with that little virgin Nazi Nick Fuentes.
Anabela Ysidro-Campos (Ginger Gonzaga on Space Force): Not a good look.
Miller: And she also kind of indicated she wanted to execute top Democrats like Nancy Pelosi.
Marjorie Taylor Greene: She’s a traitor to our country. She’s guilty of treason. . . . It’s a crime punishable by death.
Lois Griffin (from Family Guy): That seems a bit extreme, don’t you think?
Miller: But these days, this new power couple is the most dramatic example yet of a phenomenon that I’ve coined the “new MAGA establishment.”
Noah (William Jackson Harper on The Resort): Okay, that—that sounds absolutely terrifying.
Miller: For decades, there been this internal fight between the moderate establishment Republicans and the far-right crazies—but that’s been over for a while now, and the crazies won. As a result, a handful of the old establishment, like me, left the party. Those like Kevin who stayed just came to terms with it in order to survive.
Partygoers (from Friends with Benefits): Congratulations, sellout!
Miller: The result: a Frankenstein monster that merges the populist base with the tax-cutting establishment. And the newest face of this monster is Marge.
Gwendolyn James (Christina Applegate in Bad Moms): Just awesome.
Miller: Former CrossFit entrepreneur, got into politics through—where else? Facebook.
Bobbie Yang (Jesse Leigh on Rutherford Falls): Old people love the internet.
Miller: Where she made posts that ranged from racist to unhinged to just downright weird. She famously explained that Jewish space lasers caused the California wildfires. She suggested that mass shootings are false flags to take away guns. And chased David Hogg down the street while he was still in high school, streaming it to her tens of Facebook fans like a lunatic.
Jonah Simms (Ben Feldman on Superstore): That’s messed up.
Miller: She was of course, a leading Stop the Steal advocate and has recently taken up the cause of the January 6th rioters, including praying in front of someone who is cosplaying as a January 6th prisoner for some reason?
Rory Peters (Jonathan Cherry in Final Destination 2): That’s f***in’ weird, man.
Miller: She thought the Clintons killed JFK Jr. Which is kind of weird because QAnon also thinks he’s still alive.
Greene: He died in a mysterious plane crash. That’s another one of those Clinton murders.
Spencer Hastings (Troian Bellisario on Pretty Little Liars): Well, which one is real?
National Apple Farmers of America advertising executive (from Rick and Morty): Yes.
Miller: She questioned whether a plane really crashed into the Pentagon on 9/11 and said that our government is filled both with Islamists and Satan-worshiping pedophiles.
Greene: There is an Islamic invasion into our government offices right now. . . . There’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to take this global cabal [mispronounced “cable”] of Satan-worshiping pedophiles out.
Nancy Botwin (Mary-Louise Parker on Weeds): No more cable for you.
Miller: And her pièce de résistance: that Hillary was both “spirit cooking” and practicing “frazzledrip.”
Lutador (from Vivo): Mm sounds exotic.
Miller: For the uninitiated, spirit cooking is “an occult performance during which menstrual blood, breast milk, urine, and sperm are used to create a ‘painting.’” Frazzledrip is a ritual where Hillary allegedly skinned a young girl’s face and then wore the girl’s face as a mask and drank her blood.
Erlich Bachman (T.J. Miller on Silicon Valley): Ah, Jesus f***ing Christ.
Miller: But none of that insanity matters to Kevin McCarthy because the new MAGA establishment needs people like Marge to cover up their own cuckitude. That’s why this ally of McCarthy defended Marge by saying she had “matured.”
Michael McCaul: She has matured. I think she realizes she doesn’t know everything.
Miller: Matured? This interview takes place just one month after the super-mature 48-year-old called for an armed MAGA coup.
Greene: If Steve Bannon and I had organized that, we would’ve won . . . not to mention, it would’ve been armed.
Sarah Ashburn (Sandra Bullock in The Heat): That’s very mature.
Miller: That is Kevin’s new number-one wingwoman, and since she has the Republican base’s trust she will be the one that’s setting the agenda. And that is a scary prospect indeed.
Greene: It’s a story that if you were actually to write this in a book, I probably would quit reading the book.
Draco Malfoy (Tom Felton in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets): I didn’t know you could read.
Miller: See you next week for more “Not My Party.”