So I’m gone for two weeks and we’re suddenly in danger of losing our hot Joe summer?!
First things first: Vaccines work. There’s a lot of hullabaloo about. . .
. . .thanks in part to some study from the Provincetown Bear Week orgy that revealed sweaty vaccinated gays turning down to Dua Lipa can in fact contract the coronavirus.
But the reality is the overwhelming number of these breakthrough infections are extremely mild. Meanwhile, the spike in hospitalizations and deaths are coming from the unvaccinated. In fact, since the vaccine rollout, state-based studies show that between 97 and 99.9% of deaths have come from the unvaccinated. So basically all of them.
On the flip side, it’s not a coincidence that the most vaxxed states are the ones that have the lowest deaths per capita over the last month: Connecticut, Vermont, Maine, Rhode Island.
So now we gotta get other states caught up, and that starts with figuring out who’s down on the vax.
According to a recent poll, here’s who they are:
Let’s start with the 18 to 29 year old demo, the Snapchat gang—that’s you. Now, I know a ton of you guys have gotten the jab, but the data indicates at least one of your friends hasn’t. And it’s absolutely critical that we all work together to make it happen because I’m seeing way too much of this.
Now, a big part of the youth hesitancy is that over the last year it’s been mostly but not entirely boomers and the elderly who have suffered severe COVID symptoms. But with the Delta variant, that’s changing. Listen to the chief physician at Children’s Hospital, New Orleans.
“Children are being heavily impacted, perhaps more than ever before.”
Y’all have the power to stop this. All you have to do is get your friends to the nearest CVS, and get jabbed.Because I bet you’re sick of chuggy Snapchat hosts and geriatric politicians enlisting TikTok stars to tell you what to do.
As for the Republican #Resistance, some of the opposition is driven by conservatives’ natural don’t-tread-on-me ethos, while some of it is—well, let’s be honest—the fault of a few chuckling chodes and sociopathic sleaze spreading lies about the vaccine.
“They were trying to convince us there were no risks and they were relying on human stupidity to do that.” [Candace Owens]
They’ve been telling us for six months that this vaccine is perfect, but clearly in some cases, it doesn’t always work.” [Tucker Carlson]
These people are responsible for deaths that are totally unnecessary. It should haunt them for the rest of their lives.
Look at this video:
“A 34-year old Corona man who tweeted about refusing the vaccine, has now died of COVID.”
There was no reason that man had to die.
Vax don’t care about your feelings. So it’s time to stop coddling the holdouts and adapt our policies to prevent more unnecessary deaths.
For starters, Biden needs to pressure the FDA to fast-track full approval of the vaccine and not let any bureaucracy stand in the way of approving it for younger Americans.
Governors should look for creative ways to incentivize the vaccine. West Virginia Republican Jim Justice is having a cash, trucks, and scholarship lottery—that’s pro-life conservatism.
Companies, clubs and sports venues should require vaccine passports. New York City was the first to do that this week.
Maybe some unvaccinated people would get the jab if it was a requirement to see a football game.
“It’s interfering with me having fun and I wanted to go to the Rose Bowl and compare hair dos with Tim.” [James Carville]
“I’m going to the Rose Bowl, go Tigers, I’m gonna be there with the second string tailgaters and with James. . . It’s crazy that they’re putting us in the risk.” [Tim]
“It’s really insane.” [Carville]
Finally we must push back on asshole politicians like Ron DeSantis, who are banning companies from having the freedom to require that their customers are vaccinated.
Let’s protect the vulnerable, get back to our lives, stop the excuses and vax that a $$ up.
This post is a transcript of Not My Party. You can find it every Thursday on Snapchat.