I realize we are outside the realm of logic (and decency, on the solicitors' end) ... but I wonder if the following might have a 0.000001 chance of doing any good?
Sit down with the loved one and
(1) recognize that there is far more need than you can ever fill
I realize we are outside the realm of logic (and decency, on the solicitors' end) ... but I wonder if the following might have a 0.000001 chance of doing any good?
Sit down with the loved one and
(1) recognize that there is far more need than you can ever fill
(2) make a giving plan and budget that maximizes your realistic and sustainable ability to do good
(3) stick to it no matter what happens.
This does not require you to distinguish between good and bad charities, or make any judgment calls at all except the ones you make at leisure when you first sit down to make the plan. Honor your feelings and values during step 2, not later.
It's what I do. Personally, I do not give in response to a disaster or other emotionally compelling incident, because I know that either (1) "my" charity is already responding or (2) it is one of the millions that I can't do anything about.
I'm not saying this is for everyone. We're all wired differently and have different job tickets. Not a solution for scams that prey on actual dementia, I know. But it could help for people who are just too vulnerable to impulse giving (just like something similar could work for people prone to impulse buying or eating).
Impulse giving is SO tempting because it makes you *feel* connected; but you're not really any more connected than you would be with structured giving.
Make a plan and stick to it. Warm heart, cool mind.
Excellent rant!
I realize we are outside the realm of logic (and decency, on the solicitors' end) ... but I wonder if the following might have a 0.000001 chance of doing any good?
Sit down with the loved one and
(1) recognize that there is far more need than you can ever fill
(2) make a giving plan and budget that maximizes your realistic and sustainable ability to do good
(3) stick to it no matter what happens.
This does not require you to distinguish between good and bad charities, or make any judgment calls at all except the ones you make at leisure when you first sit down to make the plan. Honor your feelings and values during step 2, not later.
It's what I do. Personally, I do not give in response to a disaster or other emotionally compelling incident, because I know that either (1) "my" charity is already responding or (2) it is one of the millions that I can't do anything about.
I'm not saying this is for everyone. We're all wired differently and have different job tickets. Not a solution for scams that prey on actual dementia, I know. But it could help for people who are just too vulnerable to impulse giving (just like something similar could work for people prone to impulse buying or eating).
Impulse giving is SO tempting because it makes you *feel* connected; but you're not really any more connected than you would be with structured giving.
Make a plan and stick to it. Warm heart, cool mind.
FWIW?