127 Comments
User's avatar
Jane Stevenson's avatar

This story is hysterical. These people deserve everything they get. LOL

Robert Chown's avatar

What a sordid frigging tale. Great work JVL

JM's avatar

Did she or did she not wear more makeup in the “shooting” photo than in her wedding photo?

Fiona Hawke's avatar

"the buff pundit, who appears shirtless except for a balaclava" ... the things you go through for us, Will. Thanks, as always.

Darin's avatar

As a devout Catholic myself, one question that jumped to my mind immediately was this- what Catholic priest agreed to marry a couple that had only met each other 3 months ago? Something is definitely not right here.

eric achenbach's avatar

"Dude, I am so glad that is not me." except that it is, pretty much.

unless!

i have an adult daughter who took more than a few skeezy detours before she stopped doing things this dumb.

'i tried to warn you without intruding ... i won't say i told you so ... but can i help you see the pattern so it doesn't happen again?" eventually ...

i wish i could hear the parents ...

Charla's avatar

Okay,an idea for a fundraiser: coffee with Sam and Will! Thank you so much for the laughs - so needed 😂

Christopher Wood's avatar

I find it disturbing that a Catholic Church would perform the "ceremony."

When the governor-hopeful comes back down to reality, he might want to enroll in the "Shady Vance School of Catholic Theology."

It's motto --- "We'll Make You Smarter Than A Pope."

Jester's avatar

JFC, Will. I'd never hear of the Champion Putz before (natch) so I went to go watch for a second. Maybe I didn't understand what the metaphor of "shirtless except for a balaclava" meant.

Oh no.

It meant what the words are. JFC.

Oh, and to Champion's production team...the opening credit build looks like it says "Champion Fact or" and then I was waiting for "Champion Fiction." But nope. Just a bad graphics build.

Pam's avatar

He looks like a closeted gay in that wedding picture. His hands look like 2 dead fish, just hanging there in front of him.

Robyn Boyer's avatar

Wow! Bracelets and bullets. What a gal. Poor dear. She's in for a bumpy ride...to the creditors. Don't they have community property/liability in Florida?

Stefan T.'s avatar

"ONE MORE THOUGHT on the candidate’s connubial complications"

Frickin' hilarious

Katie Morris's avatar

“…the candidate’s connubial complications” is *chef’s kiss* 🤩

John Dull's avatar

The wedding and it’s picture is a ‘whatever’ to me but holding a military weapon and all the makeup and jewelry (not to mention the scared shitless body language) is going to give me nightmares..

Dick Lanier's avatar

Of all of the things that WS has written about, this one is the most normal.

Lori Z.'s avatar

idk, that wedding photo looks a lot like a prom pic

Pam's avatar

When the girl is the only one that doesn’t know her boyfriend is gay.