"People prefer to tell themselves stories that are convenient. We prefer stories in which the hardship was out of our hands. Where we did the best we could given the circumstances. Stories that center the trauma we overcame rather than the sacrifice we avoided."
And, sadly, those who suck at telling themselves self-serving narratives are …
"People prefer to tell themselves stories that are convenient. We prefer stories in which the hardship was out of our hands. Where we did the best we could given the circumstances. Stories that center the trauma we overcame rather than the sacrifice we avoided."
And, sadly, those who suck at telling themselves self-serving narratives are likely to get steamrolled by life.
"Team Normal went about their business and convinced themselves that doing so was just the latest little sacrifice required by their career."
That way, the story gets to be about the sacrifice they made rather than the one they avoided.
Many people like to think of themselves as self-sacrificing, as if the choice were between making a sacrifice versus not making one, and often they're right in a sense. There was a sacrifice and they made it. See?!
That there's sacrifice either way, and making *a* sacrifice doesn't ensure you made the *right* sacrifice is a sadder, grimmer story. Not only harder to tell, but also harder for others to hear, even when it's more truthful.
"And, sadly, those who suck at telling themselves self-serving narratives are likely to get steamrolled by life."
I thought I was a cynic, but I see I am a tyro. The conviction that the key to a fulfilling life is self-knowledge has been stood on its head and you see self-knowledge as an impediment. Are we to be philosophical enemies?
To *really suck* at self-serving narratives isn't to see yourself as you are, but to find it difficult to interpret yourself with any charity whatsoever. It isn't impartiality. Rather, instead of bias in favor of yourself, it is bias in the other direction. It is doubt that any story where you come out looking good could possibly be true, even when it is. It is such a terrible way to live that it's no wonder humanity tends to be biased in the other direction.
"People prefer to tell themselves stories that are convenient. We prefer stories in which the hardship was out of our hands. Where we did the best we could given the circumstances. Stories that center the trauma we overcame rather than the sacrifice we avoided."
And, sadly, those who suck at telling themselves self-serving narratives are likely to get steamrolled by life.
"Team Normal went about their business and convinced themselves that doing so was just the latest little sacrifice required by their career."
That way, the story gets to be about the sacrifice they made rather than the one they avoided.
Many people like to think of themselves as self-sacrificing, as if the choice were between making a sacrifice versus not making one, and often they're right in a sense. There was a sacrifice and they made it. See?!
That there's sacrifice either way, and making *a* sacrifice doesn't ensure you made the *right* sacrifice is a sadder, grimmer story. Not only harder to tell, but also harder for others to hear, even when it's more truthful.
Really excellent observation midge.
"And, sadly, those who suck at telling themselves self-serving narratives are likely to get steamrolled by life."
I thought I was a cynic, but I see I am a tyro. The conviction that the key to a fulfilling life is self-knowledge has been stood on its head and you see self-knowledge as an impediment. Are we to be philosophical enemies?
To *really suck* at self-serving narratives isn't to see yourself as you are, but to find it difficult to interpret yourself with any charity whatsoever. It isn't impartiality. Rather, instead of bias in favor of yourself, it is bias in the other direction. It is doubt that any story where you come out looking good could possibly be true, even when it is. It is such a terrible way to live that it's no wonder humanity tends to be biased in the other direction.