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Andrew Galan's avatar

"We've got people doing poems on aircraft carriers"

Right, because being in the military means you can't express yourself in any way, please don't pay attention to the volumes upon volumes of poetry and prose that have emerged from every single conflict throughout human history that's obviously woke propaganda.

I do love the phraseology of "doing" poems, like it's some sort of hard drug. Everyone starts so innocent, just a little haiku, no big deal. Next thing you know you're up at four AM in your bunk with bloodshot eyes, rattling off two cinquains and a limerick just to feel anything in this grey abyss of a world.

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Beth's avatar

I wasn't sure what he meant by "doing" poems. But whatever they are doing, I'm sure it's with better command of the English language than Tuberville has.

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Walternate 🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇺🇹🇼🇩🇰🇬🇱🇲🇽🇵🇦's avatar

They're "...passing around [poems] as if they are vials of heroin or cocaine."

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Mike Lew's avatar

Has Coach never seen "Patton"? If anything we need more poets in military leadership.

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knowltok's avatar

Another great follow up question for him. "So a general spending time composing poetry would be a woke problem the US shouldn't tolerate?" "Ever hear of General Patton?"

All falls apart when he says, "No, who's that?"

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Eva Seifert's avatar

I would love it if he actually said that. I find myself wondering how many of today's Rs know who Patton is.

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knowltok's avatar

Pretty sure Trump has referenced him. Its a really good movie, and he makes for a easy hero to lionize, especially since he died before he could really go off the deep end (and he probably would have).

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Eva Seifert's avatar

I've got a dozens of WW2 books, including 4 on Patton (including his diary). Yeah, once the war ended, he was getting close. The world he knew was going/gone, and his brand of soldier wasn't part of what was coming. The movie - mixed feelings about it. His accomplishments were, I think, somewhat minimized and his defects oddly glossed over or exaggerated. The man who was a poet, who knew art and beauty, and actually cried in hospitals talking to the wounded and in public, even in the midst of the war was missing. Just saw a current 2-hr documentary by Morgan Freeman on the History Channel on the 761st all black tank battalion and Patton actually did them proud. If you haven't seen it, highly recommended. (Saw it twice.) It's available on demand, at least on DirecTV.

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Barbara Novak's avatar

This was such a great comment! This guy is so clueless that it’s scary

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Drobnelson's avatar

'Two cinquains and a limerick just to feel anything'. Well done, sir, well done.

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Eva Seifert's avatar

"Anthem for Doomed Youth - Poets of the Great War" published by the Folio Society. Rupert Brooke, Wilfred Owen, Robert Graves, and dozens of others. Many of them young men killed during WWI.

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Kevin Robbins's avatar

Francis Scott Key was on a ship when he wrote the Star Spangled Banner, I believe.

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knowltok's avatar

Wasn't an aircraft carrier, so I guess that's okay.

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Samuel L. Scheib's avatar

Wonderful. Well done, Andrew. I had a real laugh over that. "Next thing you know you're up at four AM in your bunk with bloodshot eyes...:

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Dan Archambeault's avatar

What does this clown think "The Star Spangled Banner" is?

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knowltok's avatar

You think he actually knows? You think he could tell a two minute version of the events in the song and what was going on?

There's a question for a reporter to ask him. Then when he fails, follow up with, "375* football games you were involved with and you never once wondered what that song was all about?"

* made up number, but it is likely up there given all the time around football before being a head coach.

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BlueOntario's avatar

Literacy has never been important to him. The only important things in life are the ability to understand the diagrams and play codes in a playbook knowing the name of The Coach.

BTW, the Army has bunks, the navy has racks. Or at least had in the days before camouflage.

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PurpleAmerica's avatar

If only "Shithead" rhymed with "Tuberville."

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Susan Travis's avatar

🤣🤣🤣😳🥰

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R Mercer's avatar

REAL men (and only men should be in the military) communicate in monosyllabic words and grunts.

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MProvenza's avatar

But what if the grunts rhyme, they could be doing inadvertent poetry.

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R Mercer's avatar

Nah, that is just the natural tribal rhythm of Real Men.

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Kate Fall's avatar

I love it. We know Tuberville is leaving these positions open so they can be filled with Trump loyalists, national security be damned. But for the sake of the nation, someone really should do something about the Navy's well-known penchant for writing everything in iambic pentameter. It's the gateway rhythm.

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rlritt's avatar

You have to have the generals if you want to take over the government.

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Tim Coffey's avatar

If I were Biden, I'd delegate the administration's version of Luca Brasi to have a chat with the fine senator for Alabama. But that's just me.

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Donald Koller's avatar

This is absolutely what is happening. I think it is two-fold, however. Yes, Trump can use his loyalists to deploy the military, but the other factor is making it hard for Biden to use the military if he needs to. Imagine armed, right-wing squads looking to "own the libs" and whatever else they might plan. Biden could very well need to use the military to put down these traitors and paramilitary groups. Not having appropriate leadership could complicate that.

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Ellen Thomas's avatar

Ugh. That explains why the rest of the GOP Senate isn't shutting him down.

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Amy K's avatar

I had never before realized that was his motivation, but now that you've pointed it out, I want to go hide in my bed and never come out at the thought of Trump loyalists in all the highest military positions.

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David Court's avatar

Don't panic. Rico T would be the Bone-Spur-in-Chief no matter who serves under him.

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Kate Fall's avatar

Sorry. In my defense, Tom Nichols also pointed this out in his Atlantic newsletter this morning.

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Amy K's avatar

No apologies needed! Forewarned is forearmed.

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SB in Derby City's avatar

That’s quite alright. Nothing wrong with passing on information that isn’t originally yours. I’ve been hearing it since Tubbie started this mess.

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SB in Derby City's avatar

Kate is correct. Tubbie wants Trump loyalists in place so if Donnie Two Scoops becomes president again, they will have no qualms sending troops into the streets to enforce his will on all of us.

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TomD's avatar

I've found that my new friend Chat is especially good at haikus, freeing me up for more aircraft carrier-ly endeavors.

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Chief Joe's avatar

This is a world class post. Hats off.

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