296 Comments
User's avatar
Don Gates's avatar

"After all, it’s vulgar, it’s violent, it’s commercial, it’s grandiose, it’s tacky, and it dishonors a place once thought worthy of care and respect. In other words, it’s Donald Trump."

Well put!

"There are other grounds for hope. Other sports are happening across our fair land. The Knicks and the Spurs play Saturday night—and if necessary, Tuesday and then, if necessary again, Friday night—for the NBA championship. There will be, I’m told, World Cup soccer matches."

How's this for grounds for hope? A quick check at the DC forecast, and currently we're looking at a high of 90 with possible evening thunderstorms for Sunday. If JVL is right, this whole apparatus they built on the lawn is basically a lightning magnet, so it might derail the whole thing. Zeus, I'm counting on you!

Christopher Wood's avatar

I feel like a farmer praying for rain...

...along with high humidity and bugs.

Linda Oliver's avatar

Everybody go wash your cars.

Lewis Grotelueschen's avatar

Cut your alfalfa. (I really want to see if anyone here gets this.)

T Jefferson Snodgrass's avatar

Bingo. And then, after the storm, rake it all up and truck it onto the White House lawn in a great big pile and let it sweat for 4-5 days. THEN we'll have some entertainment.

Dave Yell's avatar

Can you imagine how shitty the south White House lawn will look after this event.

Annemarie's avatar

I read that they've allocated 700,000 dollars to redo the lawn.

Duane Pierson's avatar

I grew up thru abt age 12 on a farm. I get it. When I wasn't working - I machine cut & bundled (pre combine harvesters) all of one neighbor's grain crop when I was abt 9 - life was free and the adventures great.

Lewis Grotelueschen's avatar

I grew up on a farm in Nebraska where we did a lot of praying for rain. The only time we didn't want rain was when the alfalfa had been mowed (or windrowed) and needed a few days to air dry before bailing. (Rain on the cut alfalfa would greatly reduce the quality of the hay.) So a joke similar to the washing-your-car-causes-rain one developed.

Duane Pierson's avatar

Like John Denver sang: "Thank God I'm a country boy." Whenever I get tired of the city, which is frequently, I take my tent or small camper and head out.

LHS's avatar

I'll water my garden Sunday afternoon!

Kate Fall's avatar

LOL I can do this for the cause!

Linda Oliver's avatar

We can all do our part!

Dan R.'s avatar

I can’t think of a single downside to sudden and excessive lightning strikes.

Sue's avatar

Well, what's left of the White House might burn down, which would be disastrous but also a fitting finale to Trump's efforts to remake the Presidency and Washington D.C.

Diana E's avatar

We can rebuild it after he’s gone. After all, fire purifies.

Reese Erwin's avatar

And some of us would fiddle at that demise.

Judith Swink (CA)'s avatar

I wonder if they even grounded that immense metal structure.

Dave Yell's avatar

Won't matter when it is open air. Take it from a guy who experienced getting hit by lightning

Lewis Grotelueschen's avatar

Hail the size of footballs . . . .

Don Gates's avatar

Same. I think our prayers might get answered.

Reese Erwin's avatar

Yes, please lots of hungry mosquitoes. Can we import some? Some ebola?

Don Gates's avatar

I like the way you're thinking.

Dave Yell's avatar

So far, there is about 50% chance of rain. Lets hope JVL"s speculative Triad comes to fruition!

Kate Fall's avatar

The difference is the farmer is afraid it might not rain. DC in the summer? Humidity and bugs are just about guaranteed.

The Blockhead Chronicles's avatar

I have been following the forecast since earlier this week. With you on Zeus! Do not anger the god of justice!

T Jefferson Snodgrass's avatar

I'm thinking Zeus has a day job, so I'm casting my lot with Thor; his sole business is lightning and thunder. Rounding up some goats, horses, and bulls rights now. Let's have us a blót.

Sue's avatar

Not to mention Nemesis! She can only take so much hubris before she throws Nero out of his palace or wipes out the entire Athenian army.

Reese Erwin's avatar

I am dreading when they start feeding Democrats to the lions.

Alondra's avatar

I might do a little reading of bird entrails and get back to you on results.

Reese Erwin's avatar

Clever, hilarious comment! Thanks for the laugh. I am dancing around my caldron gleefully singing, “Double, double, toil and trouble. Eye of Newt Gingrich and toe of frog.” I always thought the line was “Bubble, bubble…” but have read that’s inaccurate. ??

Billsburg's avatar

Can't imagine anything worse than sitting outside under all those lights in the heat and humidity surrounded by other miserably hot, sweaty people. Added bonus - all the dead bugs dropping after being fried by the lights. And I'll bet a bottle of tepid water will be at least $8.

LHS's avatar

I'm betting DJT will spend most of the time inside the air-conditioned White House and will only pop out to present some lame medal or something to the "winner".

A Boy Named Pseu(donym)'s avatar

If they can wake him up from one of his extended "blinks."

Don Gates's avatar

Sounds like a great time, doesn't it?

A Boy Named Pseu(donym)'s avatar

It gets better. It may rain..

Dave Yell's avatar

50% chance. Let's hope the meteorologists are right.

Kay Ellen O'Maighe's avatar

$7.50 if you pay in TrumpCoin.

Kate Fall's avatar

If Trump's rallies are foreshadowing, they sold more tickets than there are spaces. Let's find out, shall we?

Deborah Barnum's avatar

Oh please! $20, for sure.

Oldandintheway's avatar

When the clouds appear, where will Trump be? Standing in the ring, holding up the winner's hand, or in the basement bunker of the White House?

Or, from what I read, he may be back in the hospital for another "annual exam."

I'm waiting for a picture of Trump swimming in the Potomac, with his head above the water, like Mao.

Don Gates's avatar

No way Trump is braving the rain. It caused him to skip out on the 100th anniversary of Armistice Day. Can you imagine what the rain would do to his hair and makeup? We might even see what going on with the back of his hands.

Dave Yell's avatar

I don't think he can tread water.

Dave Yell's avatar

or another cognitive exam

Joe Sharp (Ky)'s avatar

I'll show my age: I was in my mid-20s when "Chairman Mao (took) a swim in the Yangtze."

Brad's avatar

No no no. Face down. ONLY face down.

Robert Jaffee's avatar

“If JVL is right, this whole apparatus they built on the lawn is basically a lightning magnet, so it might derail the whole thing. Zeus, I'm counting on you!”

What a wonderful thought! This may not be poetic justice—but it’s a start!…:)

Reese Erwin's avatar

Love your reply! Especially, “Zeus, I’m counting on you.” Brilliant and hilarious. Thanks for the laugh when I am ready to weep.

Reba Clough's avatar

A thunderstorm would just be delightful!

Garvin's avatar
4hEdited

I am afraid I have fallen into the trap outlined by Anne Applebaum in her interview with Tim Miller yesterday - that is, information overseen by this administration is so chaotic and contradictory that I no longer pay attention to it. I often don't even read stories that begin with anything like "Trump says..." or "According to the Trump administration..." especially if it's about the Iran war.

Applebaum believes this is a tool favored by Trump, Putin, and their ilk in order to get folks to just throw up their hands and say "No one knows what's going on" and tune out everything. Fortunately, we have The Bulwark to alert us to news that might actually mean something.

Thanks again, guys!

OJVV's avatar

I just don't even know how MSM can justifiably report anything out of the administration without expressing some measure of skepticism these days. This morning, "Trump Announces Peace Deal Close"...but this same thing has been reported repeatedly and refuted countless times minutes later. I don't know why they bother to mention it at all, unless it be accompanied by an eye roll. So, yeah...I don't pay attention. Victory for the administration, I guess.

Will's avatar

Agreed. The MSM needs to hold off on any "deal" reporting until it's actually signed, publicly agreed upon by both sides with no discrepancies, and the Straight is reopened. Any talk about deals in the works or whatever is completely pointless now. All that stuff is just bluster from Trump that has always immediately been disputed by Iran.

Christine Knowles's avatar

OMG Garvin! I fight the urge to just tune out every day. I have to pep talk myself into staying engaged and fighting where and however I can. The Bulwark is one of the few places I trust.

Daphne McHugh's avatar

My husband constantly reminds me I pay to much attention and am damaging my mental health. It does need a farcical filter not to send me running away screaming.

Dave Yell's avatar

I deal with this with my ridiculing snark. Works wonders!

Garvin's avatar

We all need a ridiculing snark - or some other kind of boojum, you see!

OJVV's avatar

I've sort of run out of steam on ridiculing snark...thankfully, reading it from others seems to give me about 70% of the same level of satisfaction. Thanks god for The Bulwark and reddit.

Lewis Grotelueschen's avatar

"I can tell this is a very special baby."

Today, while I mutter my daily "For Fuck's Sakes," I will bang my head against a wall.

Don Gates's avatar

In fact, he's still a very special baby, even at 80 years young. Just look at how he stormed out of his Meet the Press interview.

Dave Yell's avatar

Did you see Kimmel last week where he used AI of DJT storming out of the Welker interview in diapers? Hilarious!!!!

kerreee's avatar

A fine use of AI!

Dave Yell's avatar

Kimmel uses it to the hilt. Last night he used AI of him making the last shot of the Knicks game!

Don Gates's avatar

I did not see that or hear about that, thank you for bringing that to my attention. I'm headed to YouTube now.

Justin Lee's avatar

Take comfort in knowing that Nehls is retiring from Congress at the end of the year.

Lewis Grotelueschen's avatar

I would take this as good news, but then I reflect that the District that sent Nehls to Congress probably is still batshit crazy.

Justin Lee's avatar

That district neighbors my own, and it's about average for this state.

Lewis Grotelueschen's avatar

Google tells me he's 58 years old. Something tells me he's angling for a job in the administration.

Reese Erwin's avatar

You poor thing!

Oldandintheway's avatar

What frightens me the most is that there are probably 30 to 40 million people who agree with Nehis.

Also, several military "analysts" on Fox News are unhappy with the possible deal. They think a two-week invasion of the oil wells will bring victory and free oil to America. Hegseth would be thrilled if 20,000 brave Marines died, as long as they killed 40,000 Iranians. How great would that look on TV?

dlnevins's avatar

The evil part of me is almost rooting for an invasion. The casualties would be massive, and any hope of success would require a national draft. That would make MAGAworld very, very unhappy! But it would be great for them to suffer the fruit of their terrible choices for once.

Duane Pierson's avatar

Nehl's hairline has receded as far as his brain. Time to hang it up.

A Boy Named Pseu(donym)'s avatar

Yeah, but isn't his twin running for that seat?

Justin Lee's avatar

Yes, they did what I like to call the Texas Two Step...Troy announced his retirement days before the deadline for candidates to register, and then Trevor immediately registered.

Lewis Grotelueschen's avatar

I thought this was some kind of dark joke. But it is true! Identical fricking twin!

The Blockhead Chronicles's avatar

"Special" used to be a euphemism for "developmentally challenged."

Diana E's avatar

That’s an insult to the differently abled—most of them are far more kind than “normies.”

Reese Erwin's avatar

Yes, as in “special-needs”

Jeff Bernfeld's avatar

FWIW, I had to google Nehls only to learn he's retiring anyway. I can now free up a few brain cells.

V J's avatar

He's the one that was on news clips saying he ( trump ) says jump, we jump

Filip Alois J Beuls's avatar

probably a useless and mostly inappropriate comment, but what a last name! Jealous.

Reese Erwin's avatar

We need a few useless, inappropriate comments!

Lewis Grotelueschen's avatar

Thanks. Those wacky Germans and their love of compound words . . . .

J AZ's avatar

Lewis - there’s a song for this baby: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-_QfcsVPz4

…as for all things

JM's avatar

I gagged.

Reese Erwin's avatar

I think the doctors said, “a special-needs baby.”

A Boy Named Pseu(donym)'s avatar

Has Nehls ever spoke into a mic without making himself sound like a spineless toady?

graceg's avatar

Many of us federal employees were encouraged to telework today because DC is such a mess due to the great leader's birthday event. FFS. After all the bullshit about remote work last year...anything goes to accommodate this seminal event...

Reese Erwin's avatar

OMG! Noooooooooo. I am clutching my pearls.

steve robertshaw's avatar

I'm convinced that trump has been given a list of market trading keywords that programmed trading algorithms are triggered by. The daily blatant and predictable market manipulation that by this point even human permabulls would have learned not to respond to can only be feasible if there is an unreasoned automated reflex to news aggregating headlines.

J AZ's avatar

steve - you might enjoy the Substacking by Platypus Economics/Justin Wolfers on this topic the last couple days

Tim Coffey's avatar

Nehls: "Donald Trump is the best thing to happen to this country in a hundred years. He was born a very special baby. I bet the doctors said, “I can tell this is a very special baby."

< Tim's eyes start fulling rotating in his head >

Yeah, I'm sure that Michael Myers' and Jason Voorhees' doctors said the exact same thing about them, too. Incidentally, how many of you are aware that as a young boy, Donald was caught throwing rocks at a baby? Special boy, that Donald.

Daphne McHugh's avatar

Just an excitable boy!

Mike Lew's avatar

He does go to dinner in his Sunday best. 😀

Keith Wresch's avatar

Calling a baby *special* is the adjective used when more complimentary terms about said baby’s appearance can’t make it out of your mouth.

Mike Lew's avatar

"Precious" is another hospital code word. 😀

Jeff Bernfeld's avatar

Cf the Church Lady :)

Steven of the Club's avatar

Supposedly one of his minders referred to Donald Trump as an infant as "the worst baby".

B Breivogel's avatar

Special as in “special needs “.

Diana E's avatar
2hEdited

Don’t say “as in special needs”—Trump is and, apparently since childhood, has been a narcissist and emotionally damaged. No one ever bothered to get help and take care of the small child he was. What might have happened if someone had?

The Blockhead Chronicles's avatar

>> “It’s literally Vegas,” Mr. Posobiec said excitedly. “Vegas is in D.C. now!”

Two things struck me:

- Only a Trumper would long to bring Las Vegas -- whose charms, such as they are (and I *like* Vegas, for maybe 48 hours) are 180 degrees from the best of those of Washington -- to DC.

- In Stephen King's "The Stand," Vegas is where the devil and his minions gather. It doesn't end well.

Tim Coffey's avatar

I think the Trash Can Man is smarter than the average Trump voter.

zedsdead's avatar

And it was Trashy who ended it all.

Tim Coffey's avatar

Yup. Spectacularly. I didn't read the book, but my wife and I have watched the 90's miniseries and the recent miniseries a number of times. Trump as Randall Flagg is a good analogy, I think.

dlnevins's avatar

The Walking, er, Texting Man!

zedsdead's avatar

Tim , its my favorate SK book of all time. I suggest giving it a read. Its long but i tell everyone to give it a go. Even the Audio book is great

Will's avatar

The book is absolutely worth a read. Arguably King's best, which is saying something. If you're a fan of the miniseries (both of them), then you 100% should read the book.

Linda Oliver's avatar

I’ve constantly thought of “The Stand” since 2015.

Guy Bailey's avatar

I'll do Dr Kristal one better and I'm sure JVL will wholeheartedly agree - “Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn about Wrestling.”

Specifically the concept of Kayfabe.

No 1 Potato Boys Fan's avatar

“Live Trade on Polymarket”

On the WH lawn. How shameful. I know that notions of proper civic behavior are archaic. I’ve contributed to its coarsening, but boy, seeing those ads on the property is still jarring. When a completely corrupt organization like FIFA makes an effort to strip the naming rights of American stadiums in their official comms and the American government can’t, what does that say?

Lastly, on the deal. There is no way what Mehr’s put out last night/this morning is accurate. But that’s entirely beside the point. It shows how incredibly far apart the two parties are and that there is no agreement for Vance to sign in Europe.

Alondra's avatar

Would it be naiveté on my part to think that China's reduction of oil imports is in part because their leaders understand the global economy, and prefer it not to get totally wrecked? That China's doing what it can to keep things steady, in contrast to our guy who neither knows or cares about things beyond his whims and obsessive retribution? Do we owe Communist (Communist!) China a nod of gratitude that we're not watching it all fall down and/or not paying twice as much for gas? I'm wondering.

A Boy Named Pseu(donym)'s avatar

Could also be the fact China is now the world leader in alternative energy.

Richard Kane's avatar

This! The country that harnesses a new power source before everyone else becomes top dog. Spain did it with sail, Great Britain with coal/steam, the US with oil. Now China is doing it with renewables. The idiot magats deliberately hamstrung us because renewables are "woke" and our government is beholden to the fossil fuel industry.

Will's avatar

This is absolutely why China is now importing less oil. There was a great 7 minute piece on ABC news a few weeks back detailing just how much progress they've made with renewable energy production. It's amazing what a country can do when they're not beholden to a fossil fuels lobby:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYnyAamblSo

Andrew Joyce's avatar

China has a very large strategic oil reserve and like Iran, has time on its side.

Tom Fee's avatar

This country has become a joke run by absolute morons

Harley "Griff" Lofton's avatar

Dear Representative Nehls: When I was growing up in the 1950s/60s it was customary to refer to handicapped, developmentally delayed children and some neurodivergent children as "special." It was a genteel way of recognizing that a child was "different" without using demeaning words like crippled, retarded or slow. So, yes, it is highly likely that the doctors said Trump was "special" when he was born.

Sadly, I think that Trump may simply be the outward and visible sign of the actual inward and spiritual decadence of the nation. He may be exactly what we deserve.

LHS's avatar

I was thinking of the birth scene in "Rosemary's Baby". 🤔

Dave's avatar

I was thinking of the Cobblepot/penguin birth scene in Batman Returns

LHS's avatar

Or maybe the Alien being "born" of Sigourney Weaver. 😃

Tim Coffey's avatar

"Sadly, I think that Trump may simply be the outward and visible sign of the actual inward and spiritual decadence of the nation. He may be exactly what we deserve."

+1.

Jan's avatar
4hEdited

As a DC resident, I can't bear to go downtown and look at that monstrosity. I understand that you can't even get near the White House anymore because there are so many barriers. The pictures are enough. It would be horrible to stand at the fence, as you could before, and gaze at that huge hole that used to be the East Wing. I am monitoring the weather forecasts. It will be over 90 degrees on Sunday with rain expected and high humidity. So there's that.

Daphne McHugh's avatar

Can’t Donald alter the weather with his sharpie.

Reese Erwin's avatar

That’s not a Sharpie! It’s a magic wand.

Daphne McHugh's avatar

Kings have sceptres, wizards have wands and Donald has a sharpie. Only the magnificent Sleepy Joe had an auto-pen!

Andrew Joyce's avatar

As a former DC resident I used to run the trails along GW Parkway that cross the Memorial Bridge (which spans between the Lincoln Memorial and Arlington Cemetery) and just the thought of Trump putting his "triumphal" arch between those two sites that Americans should revere fills me with such sadness and anger. #ETTD

Snide Genius's avatar

"... and ⁠the rest didn’t offer an opinion."

There's the Great American Epitaph.

https://substack.com/@snidegenius

Filip Alois J Beuls's avatar

wiser words were seldom spoken

keep sniding, mon ami.

The Silver Symposium's avatar

It's always been odd to me that UFC would become the right wing thing. UFC, much like boxing, is quite universal in its viewpoint. It posits that, across the world, so long as men are strong, they can fight and prove it. Boxing, like the UFC, is a worldwide sport, and has titles all over the world. Many of the best UFC fighters and boxers do not come from America, after all.

But also, we've seen this before. The Nazis famously loved boxing, and that was why it was a big deal when Joe Louis defeated Max Schmeling. It was an immediate blow to the so called superiority of the 'aryan race' for them to be defeated by a black american.

If boxing, and UFC, follow in the tradition of the gladiators of Rome, then like in Rome, it is very multicultural. The UFC itself is predicated on the notion that men who fight differently than each other can provide better fights, unlike in boxing where everyone must fight roughly the same way (with some variations).

You are equally likely to see greco roman wrestling as you are brazilian jui-jutsu, itself taken from Japan. You can see boxers and judo specialists. It is decidedly universalist and pluralist in its viewpoints.

The idea that 'we have discovered a single best thing' might work in boxing, but UFC rejects even that even when it embraces boxing's ideas about worldwide talent recruitment.

Simply put, it's quite weird to see right wing racists embrace a sport that is founded on the idea that you can only be the best by allowing all comers.

Keith Wresch's avatar

They will check their race card at the door for a moment, to gawk at the sight of half naked men sweating and pretending to have a real fight. Their love for the smell of testosterone and the male body in its prime outweighs their cares about race — at least as long as the spectacle lasts. The real irony is the party of family values and outright homophobia enjoys a sports with homoerotic undertones and holds this up as an example of male virility.

Daphne McHugh's avatar

Bring back nude Greco-Roman wrestling.

dlnevins's avatar

Bring back the pankraton!

Reese Erwin's avatar

It all seems barbaric to me appealing to the reptilian brain. I cannot even call it a sport. Nor acknowledge it as “worldwide talent.” Beating up an opponent is disgusting beyond words. Horrific and disgusting. Very fitting for Trump and MAGA.

zedsdead's avatar

My Gym is chock full of MAGA heads

Christopher Wood's avatar

Truly a sad and disgusting lessening of preserving some dignity of place.

Also sad that over a third of those asked in the poll had no opinion.