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The Triad

The War of Magical Thinking

Iran. Elon. Trump.

Jonathan V. Last's avatar
Jonathan V. Last
10 June∙ Paid
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(Photo illustration by The Bulwark / Photos: Getty, Shutterstock)

1. That’s an Oopsie

I’d like to have fun today. Can we have fun? I mean, who’s going to stop us? Let’s do it.

So the war is back.

On Sunday morning, the president of the United States patiently and carefully explained the state of the Iranian military, saying:

Their anti-aircraft is gone.

And:

I’ve demolished the navy, the air force, anti-aircraft. They have no radar. They have no nothing.

On Tuesday afternoon, President Trump reported that the Iranians had shot down an American attack helicopter.

How did the Iranians shoot down an Apache without possessing any radar or anti-aircraft capabilities? There are only two possible explanations:

  1. The Iranians have made a breakthrough in applied sorcery. Or,

  2. The president of the United States is full of shit.

Either way, by 7 a.m. Wednesday morning, President Trump was suggesting that the war against our totally defeated enemy which has no military assets was back on and that the Iranians were about to be super-duper double sorry.

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