Trump-Class Battleships Are the Navy’s Trump Ballroom
Trump Steaks. Trump University. Trump Coins. Why not? Let’s do this and be legends.
1. You Sank My Battleship!
Everything about the “Trump-class” battleship is a joke.
The new vessel is not a battleship. It’s a plus-sized destroyer.
Because the first ship of the line is set to be christened the USS Defiant, naming conventions would have this class known as the Defiant-class, not the “Trump-class.”
The proposed weapons systems—hypersonic nuclear-tipped missiles, rail guns, sharks with frickin’ lasers on their heads—are mostly theoretical.
This new class of ship is an answer in search of a problem. It serves absolutely no strategic purpose for America’s naval posture.
It cannot possibly be completed on the schedule Trump announced—construction beginning “almost immediately” with the first vessel deployed in 2.5 years.
I’ll go a step further: It is unlikely that any of these ships will ever be built. This is vaporware. No different than the Foxconn mega-plant in Wisconsin, or all of the iPhones that are just about to be made in America, or the addition of Canada as the 51st state, or the annexation of Greenland.
I can’t believe I’m doing this, but let’s explain why the “Trump-class” ship won’t happen.
Join Bulwark+ to unlock the rest
Become a paying member of The Bulwark to get access to this post and other subscriber-only content. A subscription gets you:
- Unlimited access to articles and newsletters including The Triad by JVL and Receipts by Catherine Rampell.
- Ad-free editions of our shows (with transcripts) and member-only shows like The Secret Podcast.
- Plus community chats and commenting features. Your support helps keep our work sustainable and available to those who cannot afford a membership. Cancel anytime.