12 Comments
User's avatar
Andrew George's avatar

Well he’s certainly cherished Lindsey Graham’s brain…

Robert J Danolfo's avatar

Will, It's uncanny how you interpret this President's idiosyncratic language. I believe you stumbled on to something neurological that needs some researchers and medical scientists to explore. We may have a new virus spreading throughout the country with its epicenter in Washington, D.C.. Let's call it, Liars Amnesia Syndrome. Symptoms include telling a lie and immediately forgetting you ever even spoke and then repeating this in a continuous loop. Additionally, when asked about it, you deny it and attack the questioner.

Laura Vaught's avatar

Good people, fine people = racists, white nationalists

Bad people, garbage people = people with non white skin (exception-Marco Rubio)

Melania - Renegotiated prenuptial agreement aka Postnuptial agreement

Many people - no one

Beautiful - catastrophically tacky

Aced MRIs - brain in formaldehyde

Ukraine - Russia

Ivanka - "thankfully legal"

Laura Vaught's avatar

It's so wrong, but the minute I read "before" redefined as "after" I started laughing hysterically. Is it the hysterical laughter of someone losing her sanity? Yes. Nonetheless. . . .

Richard Courtney's avatar

So who gifted Dictators For Dummies to Orange Gluteus? Putin? Orbán? It's safe to say it would have to be in audiobook form. So many of the words have more than five letters and one syllable.

orbit's avatar

'A lot of people are saying...' = nobody is saying it.

Richard Courtney's avatar

Or possibly, = my idiot brain thinks...

Wendy's avatar

Well, when your country elects a RAPIST, and places that RAPIST into the Oval Office, pretty much anything attractive is RAPED. Your economy? I grabbed it and gave it a good you-know-what from behind. Your allies? I had them bend over and I banged them. Your rights as Americans? Hell - that was easy, and I did it in the back alley. You can do anything when you’re a celebrity. Give me another Tic-Tac. I have a war in the Middle East.

Cary Lapekas's avatar

Accurate, Will!

CHJ's avatar

Protect (v): Dominate, control, and use as you see fit. "Should have done it with us as we asked, go to the Strait and just take it, protect it, use it for yourselves"

Daydream Believer's avatar

“In two weeks…” = Never

“I know everything about it!” = Trump knows nothing about it.

“I know nothing about it!” = Trump knows everything about it.

“Big strong men with tears in their eyes called me “sir” = figments of Trump’s imagination.

“I love so and so!” = Trump is about to kick him/her to the curb.

“This was a day of love…” = This was a day when a howling mob of Trumpers tried to kill capitol police, the Congress and Trump’s Vice President.

“This project will be on time and under budget!” = This project is a gritting excuse that will never be completed.

“This isn't about Epstein!” = It’s about Epstein.

Cary Lapekas's avatar

Accurate! Funny!