267 Comments
User's avatar
DredgenJedi43's avatar

“We barely use the Strait of Hormuz. Europe should be more active…”

Hello? Hello? Anybody home? THINK, MCFLY! THINK! No one needed to worry about the Strait of Hormuz until SecDrunk and the Coppertone Coward started fucking with shit on the insistence of Bibi that they should. Now it’s literally everyone’s problem, Pete, you pointless, pusillanimous piece of gutter trash in a bad suit.

Carolyn Phipps's avatar

You win for Invective. Almost Shakespearean, it is.

Garvin's avatar
4hEdited

Gotta agree on the bad suit! Pete thinks a bad fit makes him look super-fit.

Linda Skinner's avatar

I know. It is hilarious.

Carole Langston's avatar

Love pusillanimous. Loved that word for years.

D.J. Spiny Lumpsucker's avatar

It was a favorite of Spiro Agnew. "Pusillanimous pussy-footers".

[In truth, we do not know how much of Agnew's rhetoric came directly from him, and how much originated with Pat Buchanan, who served as the Veep's primary speechwriter.]

Carole Langston's avatar

Yes. I was very young but I remember that. Flash from the past.

Mitch Moncrief's avatar

We know what then happened to Agnew

Carole Langston's avatar

Yes. Spiro spiraled down.

Actually, pussillanimous is too dignified a word for G I Jerk.

Egan Allen's avatar

What a nattering nabob!

Merrill's avatar

We are all the true victims of a destructive 5 year old, his syncophants and the multiple billionaires who are ripping off America. The 5 year old's average approval rating is almost into the 35% range, a disaster for the GOP loyalists. Thankfully, retribution is on the way. November will see the casting out of many of the fascist MAGA loyalists which will mark the beginning of the years we need to reform our 250 year old federalist system and bring it into the 21st century. Be hopeful. This will happen.

David Court's avatar

Your words in the voters ears.

Jeff Lazar's avatar

I definitely like his new appellation...Coppertone Coward indeed!

James Byham's avatar

Run little copper tone girl run ! Don't take the job at pervert a lago !

Karl's avatar

Could Push-Ups Pete become the 2028 MAGA fave? Wierder things have happened.

Garvin's avatar

No way Dear Leader lets power shift away from The Family.

James Byham's avatar

Totally agree it's gonna be orange junior .

TomD's avatar

No need to put a candy coating on it, Dred... .

David Court's avatar

Why are you being so nice to Pete, the Cowardly Lyin (sic) of the Felon's Storm Troopers (tats anyone) without Bert Lahrs redeeming qualities?

Robert Jaffee's avatar

Please tell us how you really feel…:)

Lewis Grotelueschen's avatar

"nineteen-dimensional international chess"

How to gauge the fantasy life of the American right? The number of dimensions of the chess and the number of wars Trump has settled.

Mike Lew's avatar

I love the witty line I saw this week. Do you know what happens when you play chess while everyone else plays checkers? You lose at checkers.

Keith Wresch's avatar

And yet the Iranians checkmated our very stable genius the old fashioned. Why play multi-dimensional chess when two dimensions works just fine for much cheaper.

dcicero's avatar

Right!

"We have three Carrier Battle Groups ready to pummel you! Surrender now or face our wrath! We can spend $2 billion/day and not even notice!"

"We have a Soviet era mine that Russia just sent us for the price of the shipping. It's in the strait now. Any questions?"

Gerald Granath's avatar

Dropped into the strait off a Boston Whaler, ironic?

Gerald Granath's avatar

Some of the model names of Boston Whalers: Conquest, Outrage, Dauntless, (Ad)Vantage.

James Byham's avatar

Pooty sent us a Soviet era mine for the price of the shipping and a Boston whaler dropped it into the strait of hormuz . This has to be a joke.

Gerald Granath's avatar

Bombs are reigning down on the Iranians at an alarming rate and someone thinks, wait, all we have to do is wheel this Trojan horse into the fort and we’ll get this to stop. Start pushing.

Oregon Larry's avatar

Now why is it we keep bombing an enemy who isn't fighting back?

Garvin's avatar

In fact, simplicity is often the best move.

R Mercer's avatar

In war, simplicity is invariably the best move. One of the reasons that Japan did so poorly at the operational level in WW2 is that every plan they came up with was this hideous, multi-axis, tricksy thing requiring tight coordination between widely separated units, spread over half the Pacific Ocean.

The US solution was simple, build lots and lots of stuff, train lots and lots of people, build strong logistics--to the point that losses were, at the strategic level, largely meaningless--and your firepower and tech edge was such that losses were minimal, anyway.

TomD's avatar

I was surprised to learn that during the epic battle of Okinawa, the US actually set up a shipyard for repairs, etc. at a nearby island.

Mike Lew's avatar

Seems like a waste. Why not just have our sailors do more push-ups? 😀

R Mercer's avatar

The US Pacific War was a masterpiece of logistics (especially considering the real-world dificulties).

https://www.warhistoryonline.com/world-war-ii/hidden-ulithi-naval-base.html

TomD's avatar

I found out about it reading my father's ship's log. His LSM's hull got cracked by being pounded onto the coral while unloading, and got towed to Ulithi for repair.

TomD's avatar

Correction: Although Ulithi is part of my father's story, his LSM was towed to Kerama Retto, a shipyard only about 20 miles away to the west of Okinawa.

Meko's avatar

“In war, while everything is simple, even the simplest thing is difficult. Difficulties accumulate and produce frictions which no one can comprehend who has not seen war.”

— Carl von Clausewitz

jpg's avatar

And the size of his crowds.

Duane Pierson's avatar

Or in Trump's mind, the crowds bcuz of his size.

The Blockhead Chronicles's avatar

They DID invent the game.

Linda Oliver's avatar

He has cleverly managed to get everybody to stop blaming high prices on his tariffs. No one even mentions them anymore.

David Court's avatar

At least I have not heard that he is claiming to be up to 19 wars he has settled, not even if he counts his divorces and bankruptcies.

TomD's avatar
3hEdited

I'm thinking the Strait of Hormuz is really dumb checkers, and in only one dimension. There is a tube, a strait. At either end there is a blockade. Players attempt to move pieces through the tube by feigning un-blockading.

Lewis Grotelueschen's avatar

Trump didn't even understand there was going to be a game.

Weswolf's avatar

A certain man bases all his plans, such as they are, on the proposition that he's the only real human being in the world. Who would ever guess that he'd find out he was mistaken?

Nobody knew that war could be so complicated.

Robert Jaffee's avatar

It’s even more mind blowing if you consider that Trump is a 7th dimensional being (3D space and 4D time)—which represents all possible universes, timelines and potential realities simultaneously! Let that sink in!…:)

Thomas Eidel's avatar

“This should not be America’s fight alone,” Hegseth seethed. “We barely use the Strait of Hormuz. . . . [The Europeans] need the Strait of Hormuz much more than we do, and might want to start doing less talking and having fancy conferences in Europe and getting on a boat.”

It is America's war all alone because you dumb fuckers listened to Bibi and didn't due any due diligence to make sure what you were doing was the right thing. Mr. Tough Warrior must of got off on the wrong foot with the EU...or in the words of Erin Brockovich "that's all you got is two wrong feet in fuckin' ugly shoes (from what I hear oversized Florsheims). The liquor cabinet doesn't know shit. Can you imagine the embarrassment of the generals and admirals at having this cosplaying moron as their boss.

TomD's avatar

Phelan was incompetent in the way most Trump appointees are, but like Bondy and Noem, he got fired not for ordinary, garden variety incompetence but for failing to succeed in making Trump's stupid ideas work. In Phelan's case, it was the Trump-class battleship.

David Court's avatar

That is why Blondi Bondi got the axe, she could not get any of the Felons Most Hated List Convicted of anything, in some cases, not even indicted. And Noem as spending too much time with her squeeze to squeeze anything else, except weapons aimed at US citizens, or her dog.

TomD's avatar

Yes. Say what you want about Bondi and her politics, she did succeed at being AG of Florida.

Richard Kane's avatar

She succeeded in making it "Florida"! LOL!

TomD's avatar

No, all the credit goes to those Florida men... .

TomD's avatar

My take on Noem is that she failed to make mass deportation a successful reality tv show.

Richard Kane's avatar

YES! She failed on making it the next "COPS" show. All the footage showed ICE in a thuggish and accurate light.

Greg WF's avatar

Also known as the anti-ship missile magnet.

TomD's avatar

Floating pinata.

Richard Courtney's avatar

"We've completely obliterated them."

"We didn't need anyone's help."

"We've won, this is over."

"We're going to destroy the entire civilization."

"We've paused the destruction."

"The straight is open."

"We should split the 'tolls'".

"We've closed the straight."

"Why is no one helping us?"

"It's really their problem, not ours."

Keith Wresch's avatar

Tell me all your sweet, sweet little lies.

Richard Kane's avatar

"...tell me lies..."

Maribeth's avatar

I just sang this.

Carolyn Phipps's avatar

Battle lines, indeed.

Martin Knutsen's avatar

Its just bullshit.

Tim Coffey's avatar

"Another day, another Pentagon press conference in which Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth fruitlessly demands Europe get more involved with reopening the Strait of Hormuz: “This should not be America’s fight alone,” Hegseth seethed. “We barely use the Strait of Hormuz. . . . [The Europeans] need the Strait of Hormuz much more than we do, and might want to start doing less talking and having fancy conferences in Europe and getting on a boat.”"

You mean the same Europeans that you insulted last year as evidenced in your Signal chat, Mr. Secretary?

**You** disrupted the shipping status quo. **You're** the one who ignored warnings that Iran would close the strait should you attack Iran. And now that you're eight weeks into a war of choice, you're blaming the same nations you insulted for not bailing your stupid ass out when said war went sideways. Aren't real mean supposed to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions?

If you were really as tough as you'd like everyone to believe, **you'd** convince the president to initiate an op to wrestle control of the strait away from Iran. C'mon, asshole. Do it. Let's see how lethal the US military is under your "leadership".

Daphne McHugh's avatar

great summary I would just add two things. Let’s start focusing on the enablers, because grandpa is clearly lost and why would anyone think that the Europeans believe they can trust America. In fact the petulant pettiness of this administration has permanently removed all trust even the Iranians have higher standards of keeping promises. And I read in the British press that Our government is now reviewing our position on the falklands. I am not endorsing and view on said outpost of empire, but honestly not sure any Brits actually care.

Martin Knutsen's avatar

The question even among serious euro conservative military thinkers is "Except for the F-35, do we really NEED the US anymore?" Ukraine at this point is bringing a LOT more to the table in actual fighting experience, why on earth should we go with Patriots and THAADs at millions a piece? Especially since we have no interest in attacking anyone? Iran and Ukraine has showed that defence at the moment is trumping offense hard.

Tim Coffey's avatar

Don't forget that PATRIOT and THAAD is more than just the missiles. They're the radars as well, and if memory the PATRIOT radar is capable of detecting hypersonic threats.

Daphne McHugh's avatar

What about replacing the F-35 think I saw something about a Korean model?

Martin Knutsen's avatar

There are a couple of options that are not technically quite as good but still adequate, the SAAB Gripen of Sweden and the Mirage from France. The F-35 is definetly a better fighter jet, but: given the new doctrine as seen in Ukraine of drone defensive layers we really dont see that much need of dogfighting jets anymore, its a bit like the hangarships wich are fast turning into old tech. Resillience and volume-to-cost now wins over supertech if you can survive the first wave.

Daphne McHugh's avatar

Sometimes technically superior is less useful. The Gripen is apparently much simpler to service.

Maribeth's avatar

Am I remembering correctly that some of the allies offered assistance very early in this fiasco, but the Coppertone Coward claimed that we didn’t need them because we’d already won? Maybe I’m just remembering one of my nightmares.

Tim Coffey's avatar

I think the UK offered to send minesweepers to the area, and Trump declined the offer. Someone will correct me if I'm wrong.

JAMES ROY LEE's avatar

While Trump is flushing America down the toilet, our attention should be on the Republican members of Congress. Let's get the ads out there:

"My opponent, Mr. [generic Republican dingus], is watching Trump ruin the country, and he is doing NOTHING! Trump starts an illegal war in Iran, and Dingus does NOTHING! Trump's tariffs are ruining the economy, and Dingus does NOTHING! Trump sends ICE goons to roam the streets of America, and Dingus does NOTHING! Dingus stands around and says nothing and does nothing and lets Trump do WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANTS! Dingus is ruining America!"

Less attention on Trump, and much more on Mr. Dingus.

Dave's avatar

This should be the way. I am seeing a lot more MAGA traffic on X that are getting pissed at Congress for letting Trump and his cabinet do what he's doing

Kate Fall's avatar

There are ads just like that right now for Blake Bozeman in NY and they are glorious.

Cyndi's avatar

Ads should also make the point that Congressional Republicans keep voting against reining in this drunk-tanker war. FIVE separate votes in the Senate!

Gerald Granath's avatar

After, I don’t know, five or so of these asinine pentagon “briefings” Hegsbreath does not convey any different persona than that of a Fox News personality sitting on a couch bloviating opinions which will have no effect on the situation in the Middle East. He sits above the largest organization in the world, with the largest budget of any organization in the world and offers nothing of substance. He’s irrelevant. That’s a crime of enormous magnitude. And nothing will be done about it.

Jeff the Original's avatar

I agree with everything in your post except that Hegseth is not irrelevant. I wish he was.

Sko Hayes's avatar

Trump was on a posting bender last night, it was insanity...

To keep him from stroking out, the staff is keeping him calm with pictures of the "new battleship" that Trump wants (we haven't built a battleship since 1944, so don't hold your breath), the cleaning of the reflecting pool in front of the Lincoln Memorial, and of course the ballroom.

Watching his pressers, its amazing how animated he gets talking about the silly BS like the ballroom, but instantly switches to anger when Iran comes up.

Tim Coffey's avatar

Yeah, let's build a multibillion dollar battleship while other countries are building drones for tens of thousands of dollars. It only goes to show that Trump's brain is stuck in the 20th century.

Sko Hayes's avatar

Right? No one in the entire upper crust of the Navy could tell him that battleships are great targets for the enemy, that the last ships we built (the Littoral class ships) are complete disasters?

Tim Coffey's avatar

Not to mention we don't have the shipyards to build such a warship.

Sko Hayes's avatar

I grew up in Philly, so we drove past the Naval Yards down by the river all my life. Now, it's all mothballed ships. :(

Tim Coffey's avatar

Isn't USS New Jersey or USS Wisconsin docked there?

Mike Lew's avatar

The New Jersey is across the river in Camden. Off the top of my head, I think the Wisconsin is in Norfolk.

TomD's avatar

I think it's the New Jersey. Makes sense. Jersey is right across the Delaware.

TomD's avatar

When my mom was just out of high school, she worked in the payroll department of the Philadelphia Naval Hospital. Amazingly, she supervised about a half dozen people, including one sailor in uniform. On the site now is the Eagles' training facility.

Richard Kane's avatar

That hospital was a big deal (and employer)! My grandfather went there for medical treatment (WWI Navy vet). Friends whose fathers served in WWII and Korea, along with siblings who served in Vietnam also went there. My grandfather was a Sailor, my father was a Sailor, but I was the black sheep of the family, I became an Airman, LOL.

Richard Kane's avatar

I grew up there too. I remember as a kid seeing some mothballed ships but also many ships being built, repaired, or refitted. Not today, as you said just the mothball fleet is there. Philly used to be a big Navy region. Seagoing Navy and the Naval hospital in South Philly and Naval Aviation at NAS Willow Grove and NAWC Warminster. I lived in Buffalo for 4 years. They have a waterfront military park where the USS Little Rock and USS The Sullivans are now museum ships. The USS Little Rock was built in Philadelphia.

TomD's avatar

My dad was in the Naval Reserve. When we were kids he arranged for us to go to the Navy Yard and ride along in a submarine as submariners were taken out and submerged to periscope depth, to keep their dolphins. Odd ritual, but fun for kids. Got to look through the periscope.

Garvin's avatar
4hEdited

Or, possibly, his mind is fixated in the 19th century. And probably before the slaves were free.

Sko Hayes's avatar

He coulda been a Robber Baron. Although on second thought, he kind of is...

R Mercer's avatar

Kinda? It is his main thing.

J AZ's avatar

"The name is Barron... John Barron" 😉

TomD's avatar

It's as if someone had the idea to replace DoD super-computers with a giant abacus.

Brad's avatar

And a slide rule.

Gerald Granath's avatar

While having spent $1 Billion per day in Iran. And we’ll have the money to develop a new class of warship by 2028. Total fantasy.

Tim Coffey's avatar

While building it in two years. It'll take that long to get through preliminary and critical design reviews.

Katherine B Barz's avatar

Just say stuck. Doesn’t matter what century we are talking about. Too bad he doesn’t like jigsaw puzzles. He could spend days on some of them, leaving everyone alone to try to do their jobs.

J AZ's avatar

This is such a common aspect of dementia. Memories from the past pop up as if they’re current and real. His mentioning People Express as the airline that might merge with Spirit; it existed only in the 1980s. Few weeks back when talking about energy prices he said - twice - his policy is “dig we must,” a 1960s slogan of ConEd in NYC, instead of the slogan he’s used for years, drill baby drill. Most media don’t even notice. These are not slips of the tongue. Aracept won’t fix it. His tangles keep advancing

JMP's avatar

Good observation, I hadn't noticed those references. The press should do better.

J AZ's avatar

Dunno if you've experienced losing loved ones & acquaintances down that long side, and not everyone exhibits the same signs. As they say: if you know, you know. Fascinates me that memories aren't so much lost as being retrieval problems. Sometimes what pops up comes from so far back, a trace not mentioned or used for decades but in this moment is real again. Our brains are awesome

dlnevins's avatar

Yes. What we should be building is small, fast, very stealthy ships that can serve as launch platforms for drones, not hue, lumbering battleships (which have been obsolete since WW1).

Duane Pierson's avatar

Yes, carriers did battleships in.

Tim Coffey's avatar

With the understanding that those vessels have to operate without degradation in hostile environments (high sea states, salt, fog, electromagnetic radiation, etc.).

Keith Wresch's avatar

Seriously Cao is whining about drag queens recruiting for the Navy? Has the man been to a Trump rally where Village people oldies were hits — how many times has ‘In the Navy’ been played to adoring audiences. And what coastal community doesn’t have a lover’s point: that’s been a staples going back to the sirens. I just can’t with these people anymore. None of this is remotely serious.

dcicero's avatar
3hEdited

I can't get Colin Jost's line -- as Hegseth -- when he parodied that speech in front of all the Admirals and Generals out of my head. Something along the lines of "Y'know what's the problem with our military? It's too gay! And I'm not just talking about the Navy!"

Sheri Smith's avatar

Monterey is a lovely little town on the coast, surrounded by farms that give us much of America’s finest fruits and vegetables.

Keith Wresch's avatar

Yes, it is and apparently a wiccan paradise — who knew. A lot of those hippy and crystal types Cao is clutching his pearls about ironically have become Trump voters.

Duane Pierson's avatar

My fav place when I lived in CA. Sooo beautiful. Plus I'm a fan of Steinbeck - "Cannery Row" etc. Was back a few yrs ago.

Linda Oliver's avatar

Monterey is beautiful.

Richard Kane's avatar

I disagree, it's gorgeous! LOL!

D.J. Spiny Lumpsucker's avatar

Well, isn't Hung Cao a synonym for bull?

Keith Wresch's avatar

Good question, my Vietnamese is nonexistent.

Weswolf's avatar

Is that Vietnamese or Chinese? There were (are?) a lot of ethnic Chinese in Vietnam.

Keith Wresch's avatar

True, spelling is Vietnamese, but could Chinese from Vietnam.

Duane Pierson's avatar

Yes, lots of Chinese in SE Asia. Worked w excellent coder from Thailand who was of Chinese origin, and he alluded to the Chinese emigration into SE Asia bcuz of their dominance.

Keith Wresch's avatar

yeah, long history of Chinese being a prestige culture across much of Asia and then complex trading ties and opportunities as well.

Duane Pierson's avatar

Yeah, his name is gender inconsistent.

Richard Kane's avatar

Doesn't CPAC have the same drag performer appear every year?

Linda Skinner's avatar

Perhaps we should be ignoring Trumpelstein almost entirely and hammering on the Senate relentlessly. Every minute of the day. The House too, except they seem to be drowning on their own. As well as each and every Cabinet Secretary. Give these people no place to hide. No down time. Make sure that when Trumpelstein is dead and gone that the names of all the others who aided and abetted him are imprinted forever in our minds. We cannot let them escape the consequences of what they have done and continue to do.

Richard Kane's avatar

Absolutely, positively spot on!!!

Mike Lew's avatar

If I've learned anything from decades of right-wing media, every problem can be solved if we just get tough. You mean to tell me that isn't the answer for Iran?

DK's avatar

Maybe if we not only get tough, but also cut taxes, that'll solve the Iran problem!!

Mike Lew's avatar

I can't think of a single problem that isn't helped by the wealthy paying less taxes. 😀

dcicero's avatar

Re: "...might want to start doing less talking and having fancy conferences in Europe and getting on a boat.”

Good Lord, this man is awful.

Okay, so lets say some Europeans get on a boat. They row it or paddle it or whatever to the Strait of Hormuz. Then what?

These Europeans, brave men and women all, paddle through the strait. Maybe they make it. Maybe they don't.

Then what happens?

This is what Hegseth doesn't seem to get. You can't "hold" water like you can a land position. You can't just sit there and be reinforced. You can't be besieged and hold out. When you "hold" water, you die. Just moving through it proves you can move through it. Once. Freedom of Navigation -- which is what the world had before Trump decided to do this -- means you can freely move through the strait, in both directions, whenever you want, at whatever speed, with naval escort or not.

I know it's a tough question to answer, but how dumb is this guy, really? Having some Europeans and some "boats" isn't going to fix this mess.

Jeri in Tx's avatar

He's pretty dumb. he should know by now, from what he's subjecting other smaller boats to, in international waters, how dangerous it is to be in someone's crosshairs. Will the Iranians give any European or American boats due process? Maybe a warning, which is more than what keggers gives small boats before murdering them.

he's shuckin' and jivin' as fast as he can because if he loses this gig, he may never work again. If the orange idiot takes another scalp I hope it's his. I know the next SecDef of his choosing will be equally bad, but get rid of Secretary Hairdo and his badly tailored, ugly suits

he's nothing but an empty-headed popinjay.

Colleen Kochivar-Baker's avatar

I love it when Bill does snark. Granted Hegseth and Trump lend themselves to lots of snark since lots of unforced stupidity comes out of their mouths, but Bill's snark gives them an elegance they don't merit.

I wonder just how bad things are in the Pentagon. Morale has to be in the gutter and frequently, bad morale morphs into righteous anger. Hegseth maybe in FAFO territory when it comes to his Department of Pointless War.

TomD's avatar

I subscribe to military.com. They strive to be straight-arrow, but reading between the lines they are not very happy.

Jeff the Original's avatar

I have an anti-Trump neighbor who works for NAVSEA (Naval Systems Command) and I asked him recently about his co-workers (usually ex-Navy guys) and if they were supporting Trump's Iran antics. Surprisingly he said that these pro-Trump folks were shaking their heads in not completely supporting or understanding what Trump's doing with this.

He also mentioned that he had flown out to Bahrain in early 2025 to review the decommissioning and removal of the mine ships from the Persian Gulf.

Small world, huh?

Kate Fall's avatar

Honestly, what is to stop Europe or China from taking over the Strait and enforcing a strict embargo of oil against nobody but us?

Lewis Grotelueschen's avatar

The growth industry in the Trump economy is the number of our enemies.

James W's avatar
4hEdited

To: our Glorious, Very Very High IQ, Supreme Leader.

From: We The People.

1. Get stuffed!

2. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Kim Nesvig's avatar

I’m hearing the term “narcissistic collapse” a lot lately. Perhaps John Thune and his colleagues can persuade Trump to resign in pursuit of other responsibilities, like emissary to the Canadian Shield.