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CDinWeChe's avatar

In her recent book "Doppelganger" Naomi Klein has some interesting perspective on the kids sports phenomenon. In her view, parents push kids into elite sports as another way to project the identity of the parents. Just as we create online identities that are, at least in part, idealized or even fictional versions of ourselves, by association with highly performing children we identify ourselves as people with exceptional parenting skills, genes or both. From personal experience I know this to be the case. My daughter was an excellent age group swimmer who hated the sport by the time she graduated from high school and quit college swimming after two years. There is no question that I played a role in this story and that my concern was at least as much for my own self-image as for hers.

Klein says that this need to continually enhance our personal identities drives a loss of perspective that is at least partially responsible for our badly fraying social fabric and our completely dysfunctional government. Too much focus on our own identities precludes effective group dynamics and concerted action.

The elite kids' sports world exists because there is a demand for it. Even if it is unhealthy, our market-based society will provide product to meet the demand. As a nation and a species, we are very good at providing ourselves with distractions and stimuli that satisfy our short term desires at the expense of our long term well being. Elite sports cannot be legislated away any more than can social media, cigarettes, alcohol, or junk food.

If people can see that plunging their talented children into this world is just another form of self-indulgence, just another rat race, and not really a pathway to optimizing the lives of our children, then maybe the trend can be reversed. But as with so many other features of our society, I am not hopeful.

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Nels's avatar

I have zero interest in having my kids do elite sports although my 2nd grader is definitely the best on his soccer team. Still, I don't think it's accurate to say that this is simple self-indulgence. Part of the reason I want my kids to play sports is that it's healthy to be physically active and no one plays pick-up games any more. Part of the reason is that I played sports when I was a kid and I loved the experience. I want my children to experience that same love, but if they didn't like playing I wouldn't keep forcing them.

I know that there are ultra-competitive parents that are just trying to relive their own glory days, but I think most of these parents are doing it for their kids to have the experience. And the escalation means that even parents who aren't that competitive have to either join in or get left behind. I don't want to take my kid all across the state to play baseball tournaments, but I'm worried that he won't ever be able to make the varsity team in high school unless he plays tournament ball when he's younger. I worry that my desire not to have him play in elite sports is actually the selfish motive, prioritizing my time over his desire to compete.

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