I'm not sure I can bring myself to read the article about the 80 year old man who was giving away his much-needed savings to political candidates. My mother passed earlier this year. 92 years old with some dementia her last couple years. One thing I learned taking care of her is how older people are targeted by not only political candida…
I'm not sure I can bring myself to read the article about the 80 year old man who was giving away his much-needed savings to political candidates. My mother passed earlier this year. 92 years old with some dementia her last couple years. One thing I learned taking care of her is how older people are targeted by not only political candidates but non-profits with direct mail solicitations trying to play on their sympathies to give them money. My mother would get her mail and then want to open up the checkbook for these causes. She would always say "But it's for a good cause." I would respond that they don't raise money for bad causes. The problem is that many of these charities have highly paid executives and very little of the money, after administrative costs, go for the cause. Non-profits have to only be set up for a charitable type cause and not turn a profit. They can pay their executives whatever they want.
Fortunately, in my mother's case, she would only give $20 or so...but that just meant she ended up on more mailing lists. Here's a problem. There is no way to stop direct mail solicitations and as I said they really target the elderly, probably because many of them have dementia and can be exploited. There is a list you can get on to stop direct mail solicitations, but it's 100% voluntary.
I realize we are outside the realm of logic (and decency, on the solicitors' end) ... but I wonder if the following might have a 0.000001 chance of doing any good?
Sit down with the loved one and
(1) recognize that there is far more need than you can ever fill
(2) make a giving plan and budget that maximizes your realistic and sustainable ability to do good
(3) stick to it no matter what happens.
This does not require you to distinguish between good and bad charities, or make any judgment calls at all except the ones you make at leisure when you first sit down to make the plan. Honor your feelings and values during step 2, not later.
It's what I do. Personally, I do not give in response to a disaster or other emotionally compelling incident, because I know that either (1) "my" charity is already responding or (2) it is one of the millions that I can't do anything about.
I'm not saying this is for everyone. We're all wired differently and have different job tickets. Not a solution for scams that prey on actual dementia, I know. But it could help for people who are just too vulnerable to impulse giving (just like something similar could work for people prone to impulse buying or eating).
Impulse giving is SO tempting because it makes you *feel* connected; but you're not really any more connected than you would be with structured giving.
Make a plan and stick to it. Warm heart, cool mind.
My neighbor just spent hours trying to block some jerk who was calling his 85 year old mother in law asking her to get hundreds of dollars in gift cards to help someone in North Carolina recover from the hurricane. She has no connection to anyone in North Carolina. I wonder what else she's been giving money to.
Switch people to phones with answering machines. 99% of the callers don't bother leaving a message on my phone unlike email which is in your face. I never bothered setting up my cellphone with voice mail. If it's someone I know, they'll text me.
I'm not sure I can bring myself to read the article about the 80 year old man who was giving away his much-needed savings to political candidates. My mother passed earlier this year. 92 years old with some dementia her last couple years. One thing I learned taking care of her is how older people are targeted by not only political candidates but non-profits with direct mail solicitations trying to play on their sympathies to give them money. My mother would get her mail and then want to open up the checkbook for these causes. She would always say "But it's for a good cause." I would respond that they don't raise money for bad causes. The problem is that many of these charities have highly paid executives and very little of the money, after administrative costs, go for the cause. Non-profits have to only be set up for a charitable type cause and not turn a profit. They can pay their executives whatever they want.
Fortunately, in my mother's case, she would only give $20 or so...but that just meant she ended up on more mailing lists. Here's a problem. There is no way to stop direct mail solicitations and as I said they really target the elderly, probably because many of them have dementia and can be exploited. There is a list you can get on to stop direct mail solicitations, but it's 100% voluntary.
Sorry for my rant...
Excellent rant!
I realize we are outside the realm of logic (and decency, on the solicitors' end) ... but I wonder if the following might have a 0.000001 chance of doing any good?
Sit down with the loved one and
(1) recognize that there is far more need than you can ever fill
(2) make a giving plan and budget that maximizes your realistic and sustainable ability to do good
(3) stick to it no matter what happens.
This does not require you to distinguish between good and bad charities, or make any judgment calls at all except the ones you make at leisure when you first sit down to make the plan. Honor your feelings and values during step 2, not later.
It's what I do. Personally, I do not give in response to a disaster or other emotionally compelling incident, because I know that either (1) "my" charity is already responding or (2) it is one of the millions that I can't do anything about.
I'm not saying this is for everyone. We're all wired differently and have different job tickets. Not a solution for scams that prey on actual dementia, I know. But it could help for people who are just too vulnerable to impulse giving (just like something similar could work for people prone to impulse buying or eating).
Impulse giving is SO tempting because it makes you *feel* connected; but you're not really any more connected than you would be with structured giving.
Make a plan and stick to it. Warm heart, cool mind.
FWIW?
My neighbor just spent hours trying to block some jerk who was calling his 85 year old mother in law asking her to get hundreds of dollars in gift cards to help someone in North Carolina recover from the hurricane. She has no connection to anyone in North Carolina. I wonder what else she's been giving money to.
Switch people to phones with answering machines. 99% of the callers don't bother leaving a message on my phone unlike email which is in your face. I never bothered setting up my cellphone with voice mail. If it's someone I know, they'll text me.